酒徒词典(The Dictionary of Drunkard) 1737年1月13日 本杰明·富兰克林 Benjamin Franklin
没有什么比一个喝醉酒的男人更像个傻瓜。可怜的理查德。
有句老话说，恐习总是披上美德的外衣：把贫心说成智慧，把浪费说成是大方，等等。这就导致了这样的结果：人们自然地、普遍地认同他们心中的美德，对恶行表现出厌恶；然而一旦有机会，他们还是会尝试那些恶行，而且如果可能的话，他们还会用其他的说法对自己的恶行加以掩盖。
从这个角度来看，“醉酒〞 很不走运，因为它与任何可以用来掩饰的美德都不相关。因此，人们不得不用一些听起来距离遥远且不断变化的词句来掩饰自己，而这些词句通常表明他们已经喝醉了。
类似的表达或许每个人都能想到很多，但我认为没人会想到它们被提及的频率如此之高，这或许会让清醒的读者们感到惊讶和有趣。让我们来看看最近发来的一个新作品，名叫：
酒徒词典
A
He is Addled,
He's casting up his Accounts,
He's Afflicted,
He's in his Airs.
B
He's Biggy,
Bewitch'd,
Block and Block,
Boozy,
Bowz'd,
Been at Barbadoes,
Piss'd in the Brook,
Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow,
Burdock'd,
Buskey,
Buzzey, Has Stole a Manchet out of the Brewer's Basket,
His Head is full of Bees,
Has Been in the Bibbing Plot,
Has drank more than he has bled,
He's Bungey,
As Drunk as a Beggar,
He sees the Bears,
He's kiss'd black Betty,
He's had a Thump over the Head with Sampson's Jawbone,
He's Bridgey.
C
He's Cat,
Cagrin'd,
Capable,
Cramp'd,
Cherubimical,
Cherry Merry,
Crop'd,
Crack'd,
Concern'd,
Half Way to Concord,
Has Taken a Chirriping-Glass,
Got Corns in his Head,
A Cup too much,
Coguy,
Copey,
He's heat his Copper,
He's Crocus,
Catch'd,
He cuts his Capers,
He's been in the Cellar,
He's in his Cups,
Non Compos,
Cock'd,
Curv'd,
Cut,
Chipper,
Chickery,
Loaded his Cart,
He's been too free with the Creature,
Sir Richard has taken off his Considering Cap,
He's Chap-fallen.
D
He's Disguiz'd,
He's got a Dish,
Kill'd his Dog,
Took his Drops,
It is a Dark Day with him,
He's a Dead Man,
Has Dipp'd his Bill,
He's Dagg'd,
He's seen the Devil.
E
He's Prince Eugene,
Enter'd,
Wet both Eyes,
Cock Ey'd,
Got the Pole Evil,
Got a brass Eye,
Made an Example,
He's Eat a Toad and half for Breakfast,
In his Element.
F
He's Fishey,
Fox'd,
Fuddled,
Sore Footed,
Frozen,
Well in for 't,
Owes no Man a Farthing,
Fears no Man,
Crump Footed,
Been to France,
Flush'd,
Froze his Mouth,
Fetter'd,
Been to a Funeral,
His Flag is out,
Fuzl'd,
Spoke with his Friend,
Been at an Indian Feast.
G
He's Glad,
Groatable,
Gold-headed,
Glaiz'd,
Generous,
Booz'd the Gage,
As Dizzy as a Goose,
Been before George,
Got the Gout,
Had a Kick in the Guts,
Been with Sir John Goa,
Been at Geneva,
Globular,
Got the Glanders.
H
Half and Half,
Hardy,
Top Heavy,
Got by the Head,
Hiddey,
Got on his little Hat,
Hammerish,
Loose in the Hilts,
Knows not the way Home,
Got the Hornson,
Haunted with Evil Spirits,
Has Taken Hippocrates grand Elixir.
I
He's Intoxicated,
J
Jolly,
Jagg'd,
Jambled,
Going to Jerusalem,
Jocular,
Been to Jerico,
Juicy,
K
He's a King,
Clips the King's English,
Seen the French King,
The King is his Cousin,
Got Kib'd Heels,
Knapt,
Het his Kettle.
L
He's in Liquor,
Lordly,
He makes Indentures with his Leggs,
Well to Live,
Light,
Lappy,
Limber.
M
He sees two Moons,
Merry,
Middling,
Moon-Ey'd,
Muddled,
Seen a Flock of Moons,
Muddled,
Mountous,
Muddy,
Rais'd his Monuments,
Mellow.
N
He's eat the Cocoa Nut,
Nimptopsical,
Got the Night Mare.
O
He's Oil'd,
Eat Opium,
Smelt of an Onion,
Oxycrocium,
Overset.
P
He drank till he gave up his Half-Penny,
Pidgeon Ey'd,
Pungey,
Priddy,
As good conditioned as a Puppy,
Has Scalt his Head Pan,
Been among the Philistines,
In his Prosperity,
He's been among the Philippians,
He's contending with Pharaoh,
Wasted his Paunch,
He's Polite,
Eat a Pudding Bagg.
Q
He's Ouarrelsome.
R
He's Rocky,
Raddled,
Rich,
Religious,
Lost his Rudder,
Ragged,
Rais'd,
Been too free with Sir Richard,
Like a Rat in Trouble.
S
He's Stitch'd,
Seafaring,
In the Sudds,
Strong,
Been in the Sun,
As Drunk as David's Sow,
Swampt,
His Skin is full,
He's Steady,
He's Stiff,
He's burnt his Shoulder,
He's got his Top Gallant Sails out,
Seen the yellow Star,
As Stiff as a Ring-bolt,
Half Seas over,
His Shoe pinches him,
Staggerish,
It is Star-light with him,
He carries too much Sail,
Stew'd,
Stubb'd,
Soak'd,
Soft,
Been too free with Sir John Strawberry,
He's right before the Wind with all his Studding Sails out,
Has Sold his Senses.
T
He's Top'd,
Tongue-ty'd,
Tann'd,
Tipium Grove,
Double-Tongu'd,
Topsy-Turvey,
Tipsey,
Has Swallow'd a Tavern Token,
He's Thaw'd,
He's in a Trance,
He's Trammel'd.
V
He makes Virginia Fence,
Valiant,
Got the Indian Vapours.
W
The Malt is above the Water,
He's Wise,
He's Wet,
He's been to the Salt Water,
He's Water-soaken,
He's very Weary,
Out of the Way.
这些词汇并不是（像我们大多数的术语一样）从外语中借用的，也不是从书本中找到的，而是从四处的小酒馆里收集的，我觉得实际上远不止这些。我甚至在B 项下自己加了一个酒后语：“Brotityed”（禽兽股的），但是我担心，如果我将醉酒当作禽兽般的恶习，那么可能会对禽兽有些不公平。毕竟，就像众所周知的，禽兽往往都是些清醒的人。